I was gonna write something, but instead I will post my late night IM conversation regarding HOT FUZZ. Spoilers included. Playing the role of my laugh track, Mr. Dan Evans.

Han: did you do anything or did you just drive and sleep
Dan: oh me and Corndog went to eat and saw Hot Fuzz
Han: i liked the fuzz, yo
Han: we also had the bombass Q+A to finish
Dan: oh cool
Han: Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg, Nick Frost
Han: Eli Roth and Quentin Tarantino did PA work and passed out BadBoys2 DVDs to anyone that asked a question
Han: but Quentin wouldn’t give his up unless it was a good question
Han: so we ended up sitting there forever
Han: so Nick Frost started screaming about how he needed to pee
Han: and Simon Pegg said “This is the nerdiest seige ever staged. It’ll be the only Q+A ever to end in a riot”
Han: they ran out of Bad Boys DVDs and passed out LEthal Weapon instead
Han: also, Jack Black was there but for no real reason, other than he was at the 5:00pm show and thought it was awesome
Han: so he stuck around
Dan: hahahahahah
Han: you like the movie?
Han: btw, they’re really good at running a Q+A. They just cut people off at the knees. “I’m an aspiring actor…” “Oh I’m sorry, I meant that guy next to you. I want his question instead”
Dan: yeah it was the visual equal of eating all the candy you got for halloween
Han: that’s a good description
Han: I started getting sick of candy by the time they ran the carts into the butchers
Han: but then when Tim Dalton got impaled I was like “man, snickers are good”
Han: FACTOID: when he got impaled, Tim Dalton said “wow, I’m *LITERALLY* chewing all the scenery”
Dan: hahahahah
Han: FACTOID: Santa Claus was played by Peter Jackson
Han: FACTOID: His girlfriend in the mask was Cate Blanchett
Dan: I knew that was Blanchett
Han: I was talking about the Peter Jackson thing in the hallway next to the bathroom
Han: and this usher was like “Wait, did you say Peter Jackson? Is he here?” “No he’s in Hot Fuzz” “LIKE SCREENING RIGHT NOW?!?!” “No, he’s in the movie, like a cameo.” “DAMNIIIIIIITTTT! I thought he was here”

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Speaking of them Hammer Museum Conversations, I was also in the audience for this hilarious session between Jeff Garlin and Patton Oswalt late last year, where they go back and forth about comedy and being comedians.� If you listen carefully you can probably hear me laugh, because I laughed a lot during this.

Download here.

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Miranda July promos her upcoming short story collection, No One Belongs Here More Than You in typical July fashion with this lo-fi website. It is funny, unexpected and endearing. Alternately, you may find it precious and annoying, but you might also not have any joy in your heart.

I remember going to an interview with her and George Saunders at the Hammer Museum where she tried to absorb every thing Saunders told her. Saunders is a phenomenal short story writer and a creative writing professor at Syracuse, so not only is a fine storyteller, but he is adept at breaking down his process at explaining it to others. It’ll be interesting to see if any of that shows itself in July’s naturally offbeat and intuitively left-field storytelling.

If you’re interested in hearing Saunders and July talk about cultivating story ideas, creating expectations, earning epiphanies and sabotaging your inner-Hemingway, the whole conversation has been archived here, in convenient mp3 format.

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1) Slack Motherfucker - Tossing Seeds - Superchunk

I used to think Superchunk was going to be the biggest thing ever, mostly because this was was the only Superchunk song I had heard. This is one of the greatest workplace anthems ever, and you can still catch me silent screaming “I’M WORKING, BUT I’M NOT WORKING FOR YOU” in my tiny, tiny cubicle.

2) Remember Today - Fuckin A - Thermals

I had a flashback to The Last Sleater-Kinney Show Ever a few weeks ago, but it was of the opening band, who perfectly encapsulated that night with this song. “hold tight / remember today / anything you can climb / you can easily watch / crumble away / and i would give / the last shred / of my broken head / for the songs you say / and the words you sing” For my money, Hutch Harris is the best monosyllabic lyricist I can think of, creating lovely monuments with crude building blocks.

3) C.I.A. - Living With the Living - Ted Leo / Pharmacists

It’s never really a great move to put a 7 minute track in slot 3 of your mix, but I’m living on the edge here. Despite the obvious politics of its lyrics, CIA never seems to dip into true vitriol, instead concentrating on the human cost. It helps that the song is relentlessly driving and catchy.

4) Pink Light - Saltbreakers - Laura Veirs

Veirs works some off-kilter cadences into something truly hypnotizing, and then spins it off a space rock finale to match the galactic lyrics and the impending dawn. As far as I can tell it’s about breaking up and moving on while being locked in an observatory. Astronomy freaks rejoice!

5) One Two Three Four - The Reminder - Feist

Nothing I say will match the pure jubilation of the video.

6) If This City Never Sleeps - These Friends of Mine - Rosie Thomas

The guitar arpeggios vaguely remind me of “Landslide,” but the arrangements are very Elliott Smith. It’s a beautiful setup for the line “If this city never sleeps / does that mean / that no one dreams?,” which just knocks me out.

7) Antichrist Television Blues - Neon Bible - Arcade Fire

Arcade Fire’s shuffling tribute to Joe Simpson (Ashlee and Jessica’s dad) works on pretty much every level, but might be improved with a sample of Simpson himself yelling “You can’t ignore those double D’s” Someone get on that.

8) Range Life - “Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain” - Pavement

Pavement’s countriest song ever also contains random slams of both the Smashing Pumpkins and Stone Temple Pilots in the last verse. They must have really hated being on that Lollapalooza tour.

9) Driver 8 - Fables Of The Reconstruction - R.E.M.

The jangle and the drone… it’s just one of my favorite songs evereverever.

10) Four Winds - Cassadaga - Bright Eyes

I’ve always been kind of ambivalent about Oberst, but this is a fairly strong record. I was this close to putting his cover of Daniel Johnston’s “Deviltown” in this slot though. They used it in the Friday Night Lights finale and it got stuck in my head for a while.

11) You Are My Face - Sky Blue Sky - Wilco

Is it just me or does Wilco sound exponentially older than they should? I know they’ve never rocked the fuck out or anything, but they seem to be getting more comatose with each album. Luckily they’re really good at constructing slowjams.

12) Winona - Girlfriend - Matthew Sweet

Songs about obsessing are always good. I wonder if Matthew Sweet even thinks about Winona Ryder anymore. He played guitar, he totally had a chance to hook up with her!

13) Thirteen - #1 Record / Radio City - Big Star

I was reading “Love is a Mixtape,” which is a great book that I really should write up later, and Rob Sheffield talks about bonding with his futurewife over Big Star in the early stages of their courtship. It kind of struck me that “Thirteen” has got to be one of the all-time clutch mixtape songs. Even today it’s a touch obscure, but it’s innocent and sweet and exquisitely written… I think it’s human nature to exaggerate the potency of those shoulda-been hits, but this really is one of them.

14) Yesterday Once More - Holiday - Cinerama

I never knew Cinerama covered the Carpenters. How come nobody told me?

15) Kid Gloves - Voxtrot - Voxtrot

I mentioned how disappointing the new Voxtrot record was, right? This is one of the few real gems on the record, capturing the switching pace and slight anger of those magical EPs. Voxtrot is much better when their songs have a chip on their shoulder, or else they can fall into a trap of pure twee. A chorus of “Cheer me up / Cheer me up / I’m a miserable fuck” strikes the right kind of balance.

16) Squalor Victoria - Boxer - The National

This album kind of makes me sleepy, but I like the drums on this track a lot. I’ve come to realize I just don’t have much to say about The National.

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