• I'm disappointed that Oscar Nominated animated film "The Secret of Kells" has absolutely nothing to do with R. Kelly. #
• Brainmeltdown sort of day. Managed to lose my hat, ID badge, temper and a little dignity in a one hour period #
• Buying this shirt would get me an instant visit from Chris Hansen, wouldn't it? http://bit.ly/cgnfWZ #
• This is more like CSI: Halftime. I'm waiting for Caruso to show up and take off his sunglasses. #

Posted in Twitter No Comments »

• Whoa, Del's Saloon is closing today. Where will those people drink at 7AM now? http://bit.ly/4n8SGS #
• New harpmusic from Joanna Newsome. http://bit.ly/cJXPDf they are really sexxing her up for promotional material now #
• My friend Andy Khouri (@killkillkill) has started prepping for the Vancouver Olympics under an assumed name: http://bit.ly/aY2qqv #
• JUGGALERT! Big Money Rustlas, the Insane Clown Posse WESTERN now has a trailer! http://bit.ly/cYwhLA #
• Beer choices tonight were Moose Drool and Velvet Merkin. Thankfully, both tasted better than their namesakes. Also I saw Lorenzo Lamas. #
• Barmaid loves Mel Gibson. Possible anti-Semite. #
• Highlight of Mass Effect 2 so far was my reunion with Wrex. It went like this: http://bit.ly/9ve2nN #

Posted in Twitter No Comments »

• In case you missed it, Jesse Winchester's heartbreaking performance on SPECTACLE that made Neko Case cry http://bit.ly/4tjC45 #
• About halfway done packing and I've alreAdy got a pretty good carboard fortress going http://twitpic.com/z1kto #
• Jam of the day: THIS FUCKIN' JOB by the Drive-By Truckers http://bit.ly/4RJ0Lc I didn't even go to work today! #
• Officially moved into my own place, no roommates. So begins The Adventures of Han, Solo. I said that so you didn't have to. #
• How many trucks can I eat from in one session? There's like 20 of em here http://twitpic.com/zf5hb #

Posted in Twitter No Comments »

• Will somebody throw a Tool Academy/Jersey Shore themed party so I can wear this? http://bit.ly/8v4K6Q #
• When food trends intersect into pure unadulterated grossness: Deep Fried Cupcakes on Stix. http://bit.ly/60HQ28 #
• Letterman on the NBC debacle: http://bit.ly/5Ay0ot #
• WHAT? They are delaying Pirahna 3D?!?!?! http://bit.ly/5iXhdf I already bought my ticket! #
• This app would make me the most annoying motherfucker in the motherfuckin' room http://bit.ly/7yVE9z #
• Weird shit I found cleaning up my closets: moose calendar and Britney spears organizer! http://twitpic.com/yay0b #
• holyshit, first Wallace and now D'Angelo Barksdale is on Friday Night Lights! #
• Han 3:16 what the fuck just happened in Book of Eli #
• Does Paul McCartney have a DHARMA patch on his scarf? #

Posted in Twitter No Comments »

• If you want to remember Heath Ledger, watch Knight's Tale or Dark Knight or Brokeback. Parnassus was just a mess. #
• Watching REVOLUTIONARY ROAD, which is pretty much shitty MAD MEN. It's weird seeing Jack and Rose together without the giant boat, honestly #
• The worst product name in the IKEA catalog? Gotta be the FEMMEN VÅG shower curtain. http://bit.ly/5QHvvX #
• Found an old VHS tape of my sophomore dorm. I only look mildly retarded: http://brizzly.com/pic/Z6R #
• Afternoon screening of Avatar was me, a bunch of old people and Tenacious D #
• Bad habit of breaking my big bills and not using my small ones. Result: $35 in singles. Can't make it rain but I could do a small drizzle #
• Dear President Obama, don't you dare pre-empt LOST. http://bit.ly/5dP1x2 #
• Note: I would probably forgive him if he rode out on a polar bear or ended the address by turning into a Smoke Monster. #
• A-Team trailer leaks. I can feel myself getting drunk already. http://bit.ly/4uAdFp #
• I don't know what to make of this trailer for THE AVON BARKSDALE STORY http://bit.ly/5fEYF9 it's like narrated by a mixtape DJ #
• look, I know VH1 specializes in busted looking people, but Heidi Fleiss takes the cake. SHE IS A MONSTER THAT WILL REQUIRE HOLY WEAPONS #
• The Netflix heat maps for LA show how racially divisive a movie like GHOST TOWN can be http://bit.ly/4uH310 #
• EVERYONE. I'M ALIVE. DON'T WORRY. #
• I will pre-emptively apologize for molesting anyone. #

Posted in Twitter No Comments »

• Sherlock Holmes: LITERALLY zzzzz. During the big "parlor scene" where everything's explained, i realized I missed about half the murders #
• Headphones unplugged while watching THICK OF IT. Co-workers are wondering why I was cussing someone out in a heavy Scottish accent. #
• If I ran a company, instead of VP and management titles, it would be feudal titles only. I am currently Baron of Information Technologies. #
• hooooly crap this 405 widening project is gonna fuck traffic for a long fucking time http://bit.ly/6NrO73 #
• Adrian Peterson: SECURE THAT SHIT #
• I'm watching REAL WORLD DC against my better judgment… they are having heated arguments about religion at THE BUCA DI BEPPO. THAT'S REAL. #

Posted in Twitter No Comments »

• http://bit.ly/7MvN3g they put my childhood in a bodybag #
• Amazing gingerbread house based on the cave from Where the Wild Things Are http://bit.ly/5A2pqs #
• It's official. AVATAR is the highest grossing paraplegic/quadriplegic movie OF ALL TIME. http://bit.ly/8OU6St #
• Did you know ANGELS AND DEMONS involves the pope parachuting from the sky riding out the concussion wave of an anti-matter bomb? REALLY. #
• JADE is on tv. It is twice as awful as I remember. You know your sex thriller is doomed when it has Chazz Palminteri taking his shirt off. #
• Some lady just walked up to us and offered to buy Dan's cross colors jacket. That just happened!!! #

Posted in Twitter No Comments »

• Neat photos of WWII era LA by Ansel Adams from the LAPL. I just got some coffee from that Ralph's (now a Peet's) http://bit.ly/5dGspT #
• They just handed me one of these for no real reason. I can only assume they want me to bring in a terabyte of porn. http://bit.ly/8orkqE #
• I've been at work about 3 hours now. That means my sweater's been on inside-out for about 3 hours. Yes, I'm a real grown up and everything. #
• X-Box Red ringed again. Microsoft, your quality control is amazing. #
• The Morgan Fucking Freeman Chain of Command http://bit.ly/7GqBuR #
• I wonder how many "James Cameron almost died" stories there are besides this one: http://bit.ly/7ydno4 #
• I just blue myself. http://bit.ly/8Hpnoz #
• Spoon is Metacritic's Artist of the Decade: http://bit.ly/5IDDHc Sleater-Kinney has the highest average, 86.3. MUSICAL SCIENCE! #

Posted in Twitter No Comments »

• This meeting is actually scheduled for 8am to 5pm. If it actually lasts that long I'm going to slit my wrists #
• Sorcerer's Apprentice looks like another Nicolas Cage CLASSIC: http://bit.ly/6yH9N4 #
• From certain unflattering angles, Anna Kendrick looks like SNLs Seth Meyers. That bothers me greatly. #
• Probably not the first person to say this, but UP IN THE AIR plays great as a recession era JERRY MAGUIRE #
• One sentence review of INVICTUS: "We thought we were teaching Nelson Mandela, but really, Nelson Mandela was teaching US." #

Posted in Twitter No Comments »

• The best (or at least the most METAL) food truck name so far… GRILL EM ALL http://bit.ly/5VFn9w #
• Viet joint opening in Beverly Hills called… 9021PHO. I wonder how Absolutely Phobulous and Pho Show feel about this. #
• Managed to oversleep by an hour. My new alarm clock is completely useless against my hibernation skills. #
• My software trainer has a giant moustache and some soul glo going on. It's like learning from AC Green. #
• Taiwan has cracked the case of Tiger Woods with sophisticated computer simulations http://bit.ly/4Lzg5G #
• THE LEGION OF EXTRAORDINARY DANCERS looks like Heroes with dancing instead of superpowers. Baffling. http://thelxd.com/ #
• After this story http://bit.ly/70stoQ
  the BRICKGUN.COM site seems slammed. I WANT MY LEGO H&K MP5!!! #

Posted in Twitter No Comments »